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Bumper Stickers

Each sane person will have no more than one (1) bumper sticker per car. At or below the allotted 1 bumper sticker, a car owner can maintain good credibility even if the bumper sticker is vulgar or inane, such as "Wife and dog missing | Reward for dog" or "The proctologist called. They found your head." or "Dumbledore lives!" These are merely hints into the deepest psyche of the driver, being THE ONE bumper sickerthat called the driver to adorn his car with it. They may also represent an isolated moment of weakness in a novelty store.

Note on those magnetic ribbon things: The National Committee for Decency in Automobile Adornment (the NCDAA) voted on August 3, 2004 that these do count as bumper stickers are are included in the tally. However it might be noted that this was not a unanimous decision and was a closely divided decision on the grounds that they are easily removable and might be considered "seasonal" or "topical" and should be treated as a political bumper sticker with the one year grace period of removal after the relevance of the subject is past. However, the winning argument went, they tend to be treated as permanent bumper stickers and should therefore be judged as such.

Beyond one bumper sticker, the credibility of the car owner plunges. Two bumper stickers is a questionable person. At and beyond three, the driver might as well cover all exposed portions of the car with bumper stickers becasue it makes no difference.

Exceptions

Political bumper stickers: In addition to one bumper sticker, you may have one political bumper sticker, which may be no older than one (1) year beyond the election in question. Note: Whether your candidate wins or loses you have a one (1) year grace period to remove the political bumper sticker from your car.

School bumper stickers: If your child goes to college or a high school you like, you may have one bumper sticker per child per school, as it would be unpolitic to show preference to one child's school and not the other. Note: "Honor roll student" bumper stickers do not apply to this exception and are added to the tally.

Insane bumper stickers: A rare set of stickers alone count as a dozen bumper stickers, and shout your insanity to the world. These might include "Kiss Me, I'm A Nazi" or "KKK 4 EVR"